Happy Motivation Monday!
You can read last week’s Motivation Monday post here. Today I am sharing tips on how to be vocal and stand up for yourself. I’ve learned from personal experience that people only look out for themselves. Many adults do not treat people as they would like to be treated. We teach children to do that but many adults don’t practice that. I treat people with respect and integrity. Therefore, I am learning to be vocal and stand up for myself when I am not treated in the same manner. That’s why today I’m sharing my PERSONAL tips on how to be vocal and stand up for yourself. I am getting there, practice makes perfect.
Always be respectful, classy and professional.
Usually when I am mistreated or disrespected, my level of anger is on 1,000. See Nene above for reference. I want to raise my voice
and cuss someone outand get my point across ASAP. However, that rarely solves anything. Remain calm and speak calmly. Don’t allow your anger to overpower you because you will regret it. Trust me. Plus, it’s easier for folks to tune you out when you’re overreacting. Remember you’re in CONTROL so watch your tone and speak your mind in a respectful manner (but still with authority).
Sometimes it’s necessary to step away from the situation and not immediately react. Calm down or talk to someone who is rational and can calm you down. I usually reach out to my best friend or my sister-in-law for this. Don’t react off of your emotions. Instead, use logic and sound reasoning to get your point across. If you cannot do that at the moment, then you need to cool off because you’re not ready to talk.
Gather your receipts.
The perks of cooling off is having enough time to gather your receipts and come back with a proper READ. I’ve reacted off of anger without cooling off. As a result, I missed the opportunity to properly
read and DRAG folksstand up for myself and come with my proper receipts. Receipts can be voicing other instances of disrespect, screenshots, emails, etc. It basically means gathering all your shadethoughts.
For example (TRUE STORY), if a person is supposed to pay you for a service and there is a delay in your payment. The initial reaction is
to pop the f*ck OFF because you got billsannoyance especially if the delay has been continual (TRUE STORY). However, during the cool off period you can gather screenshots or emails showing proof of the initial payment agreement.
“We agreed on this day that I would be paid on this date. Here is the email or text confirming this payment agreement.”
Cool off and come back with the facts because it ain’t ova!
Let them know you still got summin for dat azz!
Know your worth!
The old saying that “You TEACH people how to treat you” is true. I have been mistreated and disrespected many times because I ALLOWED it. I’ve allowed it due to fear, intimidation, lack of self-worth and the long list goes on. However, I am worthy of respect (we all are) and I have the right to stand up for myself. I will not be taken for a fool. I don’t care what a person’s educational level is, their socioeconomic status, their race, religion, job title or whatever ish people use to leverage themselves against someone. Know your worth and respectfully let folks know you’re not the one. This has always been an issue for me. As a child, I would depend on my brothers to fight my battles for me. I was scared of being vocal and standing up for myself. I never wanted to cause any “drama” or step on any toes. However, in 2017 I’m calmly let people know what it is, starting the year off right! You will pay me for my services ON TIME (on the AGREED DATE). You will not talk to me this way, etc AND etc!
Get to the point.
When it comes to being vocal and standing up for yourself, cut to the chase. Get to the point. Be tactful and respectful always. However, don’t be so politically correct that you drag that ish out. This can result in the point being totally missed by the individual(s) you are confronting resulting in even more frustration.
I hope these five tips have helped you. If you have any personal tips that you’d like to share, please do share below. I am a work in progress and I can always use some additional tips. I saw this photo below yesterday on Instagram and I thought it fit perfectly with today’s post. It’s also the story of my life! I am learning to be vocal and not play victim. It’s hard because it’s been over 20 years in the making of me being mute. However, I am proud of my progress! I am not a victim. I am adult and I teach people how to treat. I am blessed with a voice that I will use respectfully.
Thanks for reading!